Through the eyes of Lucy: Living With Schizophrenia

 

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CHAPTER 5

I feel, like a cheating girlfriend.

‘Collins?’

Collins is hurt. I can feel his eyes- can almost see the tears as they course down his cheeks; defiantly refusing to acquiesce to the staunch look he is trying to project.

‘Lucy, why?’

‘But I love you; so much. Why are you still thinking about him? He barely cares for you.’

Calmly, Collins started.

‘Does he watch your best movies over and over with you?’

‘Sing to you when you’re sad?’

‘Kiss you goodnight, as you go to bed?’

‘Encourage you, when others hurl insults at you?’

I looked down, ashamed.

‘Collins, I’m sorry.’

It was just, you know, a moment of weakness.’

‘Lucy, don’t even dare. I’ve seen him pick out your clothes within the last 2 weeks. I see how you stare into his eyes when you meet at the hallway. I sense how uncomfortable you feel when you see him- expecting him to start a conversation that he’s obviously not interested in making.’

Collins raised his hands in despair.

‘Lucy, I’m sorry, but I think I’m done!’

I began to cry.

‘Collins…please.’

‘Collins!!!’ I shrieked again.

Reina was at the door but this time, she said nothing.

She walked in, and gave me the look I’d grown to recognize.

‘It’s time for the seminar. One of your team mates got across to me, he said you haven’t been picking your calls.’

I mustered the little strength I had left.

Hearth, was again, in need of me.

As we stepped out, my headaches started again.

I said nothing; for Reina would have been quick to force me into the clinic; which I wasn’t willing to subject myself to.

All I wanted, was to be done with this presentation, so I could go home and sort out my boy issues.

I saw my team mates and from where I stood, I could make out their faces filled with concerned disgust.

Concern, because this presentation affected their cumulative grades as much, as it did mine; and disgust, for being paired with me.

Defiance was clearly stated on my face.

Collins, had left. Here I was, alone; and I deserved it.

‘Good luck.’ Reina whispered.

I smiled at her, then nodded.

As I walked towards them, I noted that they- a,ll of them, all had white shirts and blue skirts/trousers on. Had there been a dress code? Did they also, communicate with neighbor Hulk?

One of them, spoke up.

‘Lucy! So glad you could make it. Didn’t you get the message about the dress code? Well, your dress looks beautifully…different!’

As I looked on in dismay, I began to have palpitations.

I had ignored neighbor Hulk, and this, was not turning out well for me.

The others just looked on, and now that I look more closely, the disgust on their faces is way greater than the concern!

This, was clearly earth’s Mafia. Any surprise, that they communicated with Hulk, the suspected convener of the Mafia? I had to up my private investigation game!

Collins. This, was where Collins always came in.

The presentation had started well. I couldn’t guarantee however, that it would end well- for I was to be the last presenter.

As I fiddled with the edges of my silk orange gown, I finally stood up, for my time to present, had come.

I could literally feel the tons of eyes on me as I walked on- and though they neither booed nor threw objects at me, I instantly sensed that they would, if they could!

The minute I opened my mouth to speak, I began stuttering.

Visibly, I saw Hulk; packing my thoughts and holding them in the palm of his huge right hand.

I whispered, in despair, ‘Please’; until I started begging ‘Please!!!’ I screamed, at the top of my lungs.

The moderator of the presentation stood up, visibly angered.

‘Get her, out of here!’

ABOUT ABIOYE PEJU

Abioye Peju is a final year medical student of Bowen University, with a palpable passion for writing. She is an ardent believer that behind every medical case, is a story itching to be told. She writes at medicology101.blogspot.com

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